Yes, I know, I'm late with posting this week's list....I was buried under finals and a million fittings of my ugly bridesmaid's dress. Joy!
We're about to leave for the wedding, but I wanted to put up this final list, because we're going to Belize tomorrow, and I probably won't be posting!
1. S. always has to be the last person in the room because everyone has to notice (and possibly tell her) how beautiful she is. This will probably mean she holds up the wedding by at least half an hour, possibly long enough for her to make a big dramatic entrance at the end. She is pretty bitter about the bridesmaid’s dresses.
2. S. boycotts the whole concept of a wedding, since our real mother probably isn’t dead anyway—she’s just missing.
3. If our mother is dead, it sort of takes away from the “beautiful girl with a missing mother” vibe that S. has been working since she started high school.
4. S. hate hate hates having to do things on Saturday, because Saturday’s the day she and her friends usually spend all day on El Paseo, shopping for new outfits for the week.
5. There has never been a time, in the history of ever, when an event in our family has happened without drama. S. is always nearby, but is rarely if ever held responsible for them.
6. S. and her friends operate in a parallel “pretty girl” universe, meaning they can do anything, anytime they want. This applies to 99% of the world, including parents, teachers, and friends, so why would a wedding be any different?
7. Four words: seafoam green bridesmaid’s dress. Or, is sea foam two words?
8. The last time I poked my head into her room (approximately 15 minutes ago) to remind her that it was time to go, S.’s bitchy friend D. threw a cashmere pillow at my head. Not a good sign. Also, it looked like S. was trying on her sluttiest outfit.
9. Since our mom has been gone for nine years, our dad’s fiancé is trying to get him to “move on with things.” Thus, the wedding of the century. This would mean that she, not S, is in charge of our house from now on.
10. Our little sister is only ten and unable to cook up a really good “event ruining” plan. Grandma is mean, but it’s not her style to embarrass the family in public. And while I object to the wedding in theory, I just want to get it over with. Causing a scene would definitely not accomplish this objective.
This leaves S.
She’s definitely going to try something.
11/15/06
Top Ten Reasons Why My Sister is SATAN
Yeah, S. pissed me off this week, so this is dedicated to her. Also, I heard a rumor that someone at school is going to forward this to S. to try to get her to be friends w/ them. First of all, go ahead! It's not like I used anyone's name anyway, so it would be hard to prove it was actually me. Second, S. will never be friends w/ you. She is EVIL. Trust me.
Back to the Satan list.
1. Normal people do not look good when they get up in the morning. S. does. Therefore, she's clearly made a deal with the devil.
2. S. always manages to get away with everything. Only the devil could do that.
3. She is definitely planning some kind of trouble for my dad's wedding next month.
4. Everything L. gives him to do for the wedding, she gives to me. What the #$%?
5. Empty promises. Bah!!!
6. She's in ONE Maroon 5 video, and now she won't stop taunting me about how Adam Levine supposedly hit on her. She doesn't even LIKE Maroon 5!
7.
8.
9.
10.
Back to the Satan list.
1. Normal people do not look good when they get up in the morning. S. does. Therefore, she's clearly made a deal with the devil.
2. S. always manages to get away with everything. Only the devil could do that.
3. She is definitely planning some kind of trouble for my dad's wedding next month.
4. Everything L. gives him to do for the wedding, she gives to me. What the #$%?
5. Empty promises. Bah!!!
6. She's in ONE Maroon 5 video, and now she won't stop taunting me about how Adam Levine supposedly hit on her. She doesn't even LIKE Maroon 5!
7.
8.
9.
10.
11/5/06
Top Ten Weird Store Names
I was just doing research for a paper on Stonehenge for Mr. S's class, and I stumbled upon this site about British stores with weird names. Of course, this made me not want to do my paper anymore, so I started making this week's Top Ten list instead.
1. Humprhey Yogart. Because I'm sure the late screen legend loved scrabble mixed in with his plain vanilla, right? Scrabble is good.
2. Freudian Sip. A coffee house on the campus of California State University, Northridge. Oddly, not next to the psychology department.
3. It's Curtains for You! Guess what they sell there?
4. Earth, Wind, and Flour. Just....my God.
5. Pizza the Action. They're for sure going to look at your boobs when you order your pizza.
6. Buy the Book. A business name, and a command.
7. The Prawnbrokers. Well, I suppose if you have to work with smelly seafood all day, you are entitled to a punny name.
8. Wok and Roll, Wok this Way, Wok on the Wild Side. Food made in a wok is funny.
9. Beauty and the Bistro. Unclear as to whether there actually is a beauty working there.
10. Bead It! This one made me laugh out loud.
1. Humprhey Yogart. Because I'm sure the late screen legend loved scrabble mixed in with his plain vanilla, right? Scrabble is good.
2. Freudian Sip. A coffee house on the campus of California State University, Northridge. Oddly, not next to the psychology department.
3. It's Curtains for You! Guess what they sell there?
4. Earth, Wind, and Flour. Just....my God.
5. Pizza the Action. They're for sure going to look at your boobs when you order your pizza.
6. Buy the Book. A business name, and a command.
7. The Prawnbrokers. Well, I suppose if you have to work with smelly seafood all day, you are entitled to a punny name.
8. Wok and Roll, Wok this Way, Wok on the Wild Side. Food made in a wok is funny.
9. Beauty and the Bistro. Unclear as to whether there actually is a beauty working there.
10. Bead It! This one made me laugh out loud.
10/31/06
Top Ten Bad Halloween Candies
Finny and I just got back from Trick or Treating around my neighborhood, and during the night we started coming up with this list.
1. Microwave popcorn. Little kids: a) can't use the microwave, b) don't eat lowfat food, and c) want candy they can eat right then. Microwave popcorn is possibly the worst combination of the three of these things...like, maybe it could only be worse if they were selling individual Stouffer's Lean Cuisines for Halloween use, which I'm sure they only don't do because they'd go bad.
2. Pennies. Just, come on. You're a little kid, your bag is already heavy enough, and then you get to the person's house who wants to give you a handful of pennies. Not. Cool. Pennies are filthy, they're heavy, and they're worth....well, you get the picture.
3. Loose candy corn or Circus Peanuts. Rolling around in the bottom of the bag with the pennies? Um, you're getting tuberculosis for Halloween if you eat those.
4. Dental floss. Even if you're the one dentist on your block, don't bother giving this out, as you're not going to stop the rising tide of tooth decay with your tiny piece of floss. Halloween is the reason teeth fall out, yo
.5. Individual sticks of carefree sugarless gum. Again, you're not helping the tooth decay problem with your feeble sugarless gum. You're just annoying the kids. Plus, the individual sticks get all warm and bendy in the bag, and you can't eat them anyway. Also, after all that candy, you can't even taste sugarless gum for about a week.
6. Hand-dipped caramel apples. A nice sentiment, but since, like, the beginning of time our moms have been telling us not to accept anything that's unwrapped. So...what to do? Put it in the bag for safekeeping? It gets all the other candy all messy. Eat it there? Not safe, and then you're too full to eat the wonderful panoply of other candy that might come your way. Besides, this contains actual fruit, which defies the "Halloween Candy must be bad for you" rule. Nope.
7. Carob Coated Anything. Carob is fake chocolate, man. Halloween is the one time it's ok to eat real chocolate. Don't even get carob anywhere near me on October 31st.
8. Boxes of raisins or sunflower seeds. I don't even have the words. Just...how dare you?
9. Granola bars. Again, I am speechless. Small granola bars were probably in a bag right next to something delicious, like Peanut M & Ms, but you bought the Nature Valley Granola Bars instead. Shame on you.
10. Those crunchy sesame candy things from the health food store. You know what I'm talking about. Frankly, the kind of kid who would like this type of candy is not trick or treating, because their mom has them inside making up some home-schooling lessons, and besides, she objects to the pagan nature of Halloween.
1. Microwave popcorn. Little kids: a) can't use the microwave, b) don't eat lowfat food, and c) want candy they can eat right then. Microwave popcorn is possibly the worst combination of the three of these things...like, maybe it could only be worse if they were selling individual Stouffer's Lean Cuisines for Halloween use, which I'm sure they only don't do because they'd go bad.
2. Pennies. Just, come on. You're a little kid, your bag is already heavy enough, and then you get to the person's house who wants to give you a handful of pennies. Not. Cool. Pennies are filthy, they're heavy, and they're worth....well, you get the picture.
3. Loose candy corn or Circus Peanuts. Rolling around in the bottom of the bag with the pennies? Um, you're getting tuberculosis for Halloween if you eat those.
4. Dental floss. Even if you're the one dentist on your block, don't bother giving this out, as you're not going to stop the rising tide of tooth decay with your tiny piece of floss. Halloween is the reason teeth fall out, yo
.5. Individual sticks of carefree sugarless gum. Again, you're not helping the tooth decay problem with your feeble sugarless gum. You're just annoying the kids. Plus, the individual sticks get all warm and bendy in the bag, and you can't eat them anyway. Also, after all that candy, you can't even taste sugarless gum for about a week.
6. Hand-dipped caramel apples. A nice sentiment, but since, like, the beginning of time our moms have been telling us not to accept anything that's unwrapped. So...what to do? Put it in the bag for safekeeping? It gets all the other candy all messy. Eat it there? Not safe, and then you're too full to eat the wonderful panoply of other candy that might come your way. Besides, this contains actual fruit, which defies the "Halloween Candy must be bad for you" rule. Nope.
7. Carob Coated Anything. Carob is fake chocolate, man. Halloween is the one time it's ok to eat real chocolate. Don't even get carob anywhere near me on October 31st.
8. Boxes of raisins or sunflower seeds. I don't even have the words. Just...how dare you?
9. Granola bars. Again, I am speechless. Small granola bars were probably in a bag right next to something delicious, like Peanut M & Ms, but you bought the Nature Valley Granola Bars instead. Shame on you.
10. Those crunchy sesame candy things from the health food store. You know what I'm talking about. Frankly, the kind of kid who would like this type of candy is not trick or treating, because their mom has them inside making up some home-schooling lessons, and besides, she objects to the pagan nature of Halloween.
10/23/06
Top Ten Discontinued Ben & Jerry's Flavors-- Good Riddance!
Finny and I were looking on the Ben & Jerry's website just now for a flavor of sorbet we liked last summer but can't find anymore, and we came across this list of discontinued flavors. Some of them are just SO NASTY, we thought they were funny. Why did they even make these in the first place?
1. Chocolate Orange Fudge. So wrong. Fruit and chocolate should not be mixed under any circumstances.
2. Concession Obsession. Finny said she liked this one, but I can definitely see why they stopped making it. Popcorn in ice cream? Not a very nice surprise.
3. Dastardly Mash. Sounds like it has potatoes in it.
4. Lemon Peppermint Carob Chip. So.....many.....flavors. Also, carob is a poor excuse for chocolate.
5. S.N.A.F.U. (Strawberries Naturally All Fudged Up). Again, fruit and chocolate-- no. Also, the name sucks.
6. Raspberry Gone Coconuts. Description says "buttery chunks of cookies," which in our opinion is enough to take it off the market right there.
7. Cantaloupe. Already disgusting as a fruit. Why not make a sorbet out of it?
8. Rainforest Crunch. Way to hippie-fied. Also, brazil nuts have a weird flavor.
9. Grape Nut. No, not a typo. That cereal that's getting stale because your dad bought it and NEVER eats it? Also a discontinued Ben & Jerry's flavor.
10. Miz Jelena's Sweet Potato Pie. We think this one speaks for itself.
1. Chocolate Orange Fudge. So wrong. Fruit and chocolate should not be mixed under any circumstances.
2. Concession Obsession. Finny said she liked this one, but I can definitely see why they stopped making it. Popcorn in ice cream? Not a very nice surprise.
3. Dastardly Mash. Sounds like it has potatoes in it.
4. Lemon Peppermint Carob Chip. So.....many.....flavors. Also, carob is a poor excuse for chocolate.
5. S.N.A.F.U. (Strawberries Naturally All Fudged Up). Again, fruit and chocolate-- no. Also, the name sucks.
6. Raspberry Gone Coconuts. Description says "buttery chunks of cookies," which in our opinion is enough to take it off the market right there.
7. Cantaloupe. Already disgusting as a fruit. Why not make a sorbet out of it?
8. Rainforest Crunch. Way to hippie-fied. Also, brazil nuts have a weird flavor.
9. Grape Nut. No, not a typo. That cereal that's getting stale because your dad bought it and NEVER eats it? Also a discontinued Ben & Jerry's flavor.
10. Miz Jelena's Sweet Potato Pie. We think this one speaks for itself.
10/19/06
Top Ten Funny Robot Names
OK, I know it's a lame list, but I had detention for alot of this week, as I could NOT stop laughing in Mrs. K's English class lecture on "famous birds in Shakespeare." Has there EVER been a topic that will matter less to our future lives?
Anyhow, that guy Tony who keeps getting in trouble for starting little fires in class sat next to me for two days, and kept bugging me to make a "Top Ten" list of funny robot names. How he knows about this blog, I do not know. But, here are some names we came up with. Yes, I said we.
1. Pimp Bot. Actually, this one was popularized by Conan O'Brien, but I thought I'd throw it in there.
2. Death Juicer
3. The Elf Grinder
4. The Floss-Atron
5. Grumpbot
6. Muffy
7. Colonel Squeaky
8. Deathbunny 3000
9. Tracky McWhirrrrrrrrr!
10. Steve
Anyhow, that guy Tony who keeps getting in trouble for starting little fires in class sat next to me for two days, and kept bugging me to make a "Top Ten" list of funny robot names. How he knows about this blog, I do not know. But, here are some names we came up with. Yes, I said we.
1. Pimp Bot. Actually, this one was popularized by Conan O'Brien, but I thought I'd throw it in there.
2. Death Juicer
3. The Elf Grinder
4. The Floss-Atron
5. Grumpbot
6. Muffy
7. Colonel Squeaky
8. Deathbunny 3000
9. Tracky McWhirrrrrrrrr!
10. Steve
10/8/06
Top Ten Jobs I Would Not Want
1. Tow Yard Attendant. Everyone you help is always mad, 100% of the time. This is why they make you work behind bullet proof glass.
2. Correctional facility nurse. Good....GOD. The horror of your every day work situation. These people are freaking saints, in my opinion. "Nurse, I've got this sore," takes on a whole new meaning.
3. Meter Maid. You drive around in a little golf cart, ruining people's days and probably racking up bad karma points. Oh, and if the person happens to be there, then you also get to fight with them. This happens, say, 50 times a day.
4. Flight attendant. Some people really love this job, and I'm glad, because I consider flying one of those unpleasant things I have to do in order to get to the things I really want to do. Keep your free travel, I say. Flying is scary.
5. Roto-rooter person. Yes, I knoew, they make really good money, and everyone always needs one of these, but I just wouldn't want to be on call at 3 am to go unstop someone's doo-doo filled toilet, ok? I just wouldn't.
6. Monkey handler at the zoo. Again, some people love this job, so don't email me if you're from the National Association of Monkey Handlers. But man, monkeys through poo when they get upset, which I bet they are all the time when they're locked in a cage for twenty years with the same monkey friends.
7. Professional food contest eater. I actually think you have to be genetically predisposed for this one, with a huge stomach and a very relaxed esophagus. There is just something so foul about eating 100 hot dogs in a row, I just don't know how those guys do it.
8. Personal assistant to someone like Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan. Total golden handcuffs job-- they have to pay you a lot of money to keep you quiet, but then you can't share the secrets of the absolute, crazy insanity that is your job with the rest of the world. Too bad, really.
9. ER Doctor. I hate being startled. Hate it. And, like, being startled is all those people do, for twleve hours a day. Drug overdose! Shooting! Stabbing! Broken leg! Everything with this job is a big fat exclamation point, all the time, and I don't think my nerves could take it, even for one day. I'd be like "eight years of school...that's fine. I quit."
2. Correctional facility nurse. Good....GOD. The horror of your every day work situation. These people are freaking saints, in my opinion. "Nurse, I've got this sore," takes on a whole new meaning.
3. Meter Maid. You drive around in a little golf cart, ruining people's days and probably racking up bad karma points. Oh, and if the person happens to be there, then you also get to fight with them. This happens, say, 50 times a day.
4. Flight attendant. Some people really love this job, and I'm glad, because I consider flying one of those unpleasant things I have to do in order to get to the things I really want to do. Keep your free travel, I say. Flying is scary.
5. Roto-rooter person. Yes, I knoew, they make really good money, and everyone always needs one of these, but I just wouldn't want to be on call at 3 am to go unstop someone's doo-doo filled toilet, ok? I just wouldn't.
6. Monkey handler at the zoo. Again, some people love this job, so don't email me if you're from the National Association of Monkey Handlers. But man, monkeys through poo when they get upset, which I bet they are all the time when they're locked in a cage for twenty years with the same monkey friends.
7. Professional food contest eater. I actually think you have to be genetically predisposed for this one, with a huge stomach and a very relaxed esophagus. There is just something so foul about eating 100 hot dogs in a row, I just don't know how those guys do it.
8. Personal assistant to someone like Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan. Total golden handcuffs job-- they have to pay you a lot of money to keep you quiet, but then you can't share the secrets of the absolute, crazy insanity that is your job with the rest of the world. Too bad, really.
9. ER Doctor. I hate being startled. Hate it. And, like, being startled is all those people do, for twleve hours a day. Drug overdose! Shooting! Stabbing! Broken leg! Everything with this job is a big fat exclamation point, all the time, and I don't think my nerves could take it, even for one day. I'd be like "eight years of school...that's fine. I quit."
10/5/06
Top Ten Careers I Would Consider
In honor of career day and that retarded "career aptitude" test they made us take today (because sophomores are SO likely to know what they're doing with their lives), here are ten careers I would consider (or am considering).
1. Lawyer. I sort of have to put this, in case my dad ever reads this. But, it does seem like kind of a cool career, and I do like arguing.
2. Tennis pro. In like, a perfect world, I would just be the next Maria Sharapova. Yes, I will still make the Top Ten when I am famous.
3. American Idol Judge. I know, you probably have to be a music person to do this, but I am VERY good at being critical. That's got to come in handy somewhere, right?
1. Lawyer. I sort of have to put this, in case my dad ever reads this. But, it does seem like kind of a cool career, and I do like arguing.
2. Tennis pro. In like, a perfect world, I would just be the next Maria Sharapova. Yes, I will still make the Top Ten when I am famous.
3. American Idol Judge. I know, you probably have to be a music person to do this, but I am VERY good at being critical. That's got to come in handy somewhere, right?
9/18/06
9/11/06
Top Ten Mean Grandma Quotes
I know, no one believes that my grandma could realy be that mean, so I started writing down some of the stuff she says.
1. "Maybe if you'd visited us more, your grandfather would hve included you in his will."
2. "English is your favorite subject? What are you going to do with that...work at Burger King?"
3.
1. "Maybe if you'd visited us more, your grandfather would hve included you in his will."
2. "English is your favorite subject? What are you going to do with that...work at Burger King?"
3.
9/5/06
First Week of School Top Ten
Yeah, alot going on this week-- I got A lunch, which starts so early, I'm barely done digesting breakfast. Yikes!
Here's a top ten list dedicated totally to the first week of school.
Top Ten New Things at School
1. Mrs. K's boobs. Is that wrong? Maybe she's just got a new bra.
2. Mr. J's tan. Spectacular. K. said that Mr. J. and his partner spent the whole summer in Greece, naked. So gross! Seriously, his tan looks good though.
3. The computer lab. Wow! It actually looks good-- they replaced the GIANT computers from the 1970's with flat screens. Of course, they now have a security guard at the door, probably because they heard I spill things in keyboards when I type. Yikes!
4.
Here's a top ten list dedicated totally to the first week of school.
Top Ten New Things at School
1. Mrs. K's boobs. Is that wrong? Maybe she's just got a new bra.
2. Mr. J's tan. Spectacular. K. said that Mr. J. and his partner spent the whole summer in Greece, naked. So gross! Seriously, his tan looks good though.
3. The computer lab. Wow! It actually looks good-- they replaced the GIANT computers from the 1970's with flat screens. Of course, they now have a security guard at the door, probably because they heard I spill things in keyboards when I type. Yikes!
4.
8/13/06
Summer Reading Madness (A Bitterness Top Ten)
UUGGGHHHH the summer reading list is haunting me. School starts in two weeks, and while I am like 75% of the way through the stupid thing (including all of the plays and most of the poems), I STILL haven't conquered David Copperfield, which is longer than everything else combined. Since all I've been doing is laying out by the pool and reading, the only list I can make will be Boring Reading List Related.
This is where I try to encapsulate all of the summer reading into one-liners, mostly for my own amusement.
1. Oedipus the King: Eeww, she's his mom.
2. The Odyssey: Yeah, war is long. Very long.
3. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: 20,000 Leagues of BORING
4. Farenheit 451: Fake blood? Gross.
5. Gone With the Wind: Gone with my summer.
6. The Jungle: No. More. Meat. EVER!
7. Tuesdays With Morrie: I think I know how this is going to end.
8. Lord of the Flies: Piggie has ASS-MAR. That's why he's mad, people.
9. The Bell Jar. Sylvia, cheer up!
10. Poetry of William Carlos Williams: So much of my summer depends on a little red wheelbarrow.
This is where I try to encapsulate all of the summer reading into one-liners, mostly for my own amusement.
1. Oedipus the King: Eeww, she's his mom.
2. The Odyssey: Yeah, war is long. Very long.
3. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: 20,000 Leagues of BORING
4. Farenheit 451: Fake blood? Gross.
5. Gone With the Wind: Gone with my summer.
6. The Jungle: No. More. Meat. EVER!
7. Tuesdays With Morrie: I think I know how this is going to end.
8. Lord of the Flies: Piggie has ASS-MAR. That's why he's mad, people.
9. The Bell Jar. Sylvia, cheer up!
10. Poetry of William Carlos Williams: So much of my summer depends on a little red wheelbarrow.
8/4/06
Top Ten Teachers Who Will Go Mental
The desert has a really excellent track record for driving teachers out of their minds. F.'s mom was actually in class with Mr. Mike Schecter at PDMS-- he's the one who committed actual murder in 1992, and is still in prison in Indio or something. Then there was the guy who they caught with a cross strapped to his back, walking the wrong way down Fred Waring. Seriously. I think it's the heat.
Here are my picks for who's going mental this year:
1. Mrs. K. Too many cigarettes, too little respect. She's going off the deep end for sure.
2.
Here are my picks for who's going mental this year:
1. Mrs. K. Too many cigarettes, too little respect. She's going off the deep end for sure.
2.
7/17/06
Summer Top Ten: It is HOT!
Because it is 122 degrees outside and we're sick of the pool, Finny and I have made a list of possible summertime activities for when you're living on the surface of the sun. We're trying to convince my dad to at least take us up to the cabin for a week or two, or to Europe or something, but so far this summer, he's been at his office 24 hours a day doing some big merger, so we're just ROASTING.
Top Ten Things You Can Do When It's 122 Outside
1. Fry eggs. We are about to set up a fried egg and lemonade stand outside my house. Come over! The only thing that's gross about this is that you have to fry them on the sidewalk, and then who would want to eat them?
2. Swim/ lay out. This is ALL we've been doing all summer. We are crispy fried.
3. Shop. Mostly online, but NOT on El Paseo, because you have to walk from store to store, and seriously, you could die. Mall only.
4. Do the summer homework for Honors English. UUGGGHHHHH! Isn't it against the LAW for teachers to give you a reading list for summer? Finny is doing 36 pages a day of David Copperfield. I am putting it off, so obviously I am going to have to read everything in one weekend.
5. Get heatstroke from trying to walk to your friend's house. Check!
6. Ice blocking at Ironwood Country Club, on the green behind F.'s house. The gate code is 229.
7. Bass fishing, also at Ironwood...they filled the lake back up!
Note: ONLY do # 6 and #7 at night. The security guards are totally out during the day, and they WILL call your parents.
8. Generator parties by the tree up 74. T's brother just got a Jeep for his birthday, and he has generously offered to drive us all up there Friday night. Bring big flashlights!
9. Go to the movies, then stay there all day. We've seen EVERYTHING. We are SO BORED.
10.
By the way, hi Caitlin! Hope you're having fun in freaking HAWAII! Lucky!
Top Ten Things You Can Do When It's 122 Outside
1. Fry eggs. We are about to set up a fried egg and lemonade stand outside my house. Come over! The only thing that's gross about this is that you have to fry them on the sidewalk, and then who would want to eat them?
2. Swim/ lay out. This is ALL we've been doing all summer. We are crispy fried.
3. Shop. Mostly online, but NOT on El Paseo, because you have to walk from store to store, and seriously, you could die. Mall only.
4. Do the summer homework for Honors English. UUGGGHHHHH! Isn't it against the LAW for teachers to give you a reading list for summer? Finny is doing 36 pages a day of David Copperfield. I am putting it off, so obviously I am going to have to read everything in one weekend.
5. Get heatstroke from trying to walk to your friend's house. Check!
6. Ice blocking at Ironwood Country Club, on the green behind F.'s house. The gate code is 229.
7. Bass fishing, also at Ironwood...they filled the lake back up!
Note: ONLY do # 6 and #7 at night. The security guards are totally out during the day, and they WILL call your parents.
8. Generator parties by the tree up 74. T's brother just got a Jeep for his birthday, and he has generously offered to drive us all up there Friday night. Bring big flashlights!
9. Go to the movies, then stay there all day. We've seen EVERYTHING. We are SO BORED.
10.
By the way, hi Caitlin! Hope you're having fun in freaking HAWAII! Lucky!
4/30/06
Top Ten Reasons Why Being a Rock Star's Kid Isn't All That
Top Ten Reasons Why It's Not That Great Being the Kid of a Rock Star
by A.
1. Can you really see my dad at a school play? I don't think so. Besides, he's always on tour.
2. Teachers that want autographs. Like...hello? Your supposed to be teaching me math.
3. E! True Hollywood Story uses SAME picture from like, nine years ago. We do grow up, you know!
4. People are ALWAYS asking if my sister and I play instruments, or when we're going to record our albums.
5. Freaked-out family names. Not our fault, ok? Bob Geldof's kid is named Fifi!
6. Can't tell people you first meet who your dad is, because they get all.... different.
7. Have to go on tour every summer-- miss my friends, and VERY boring.
8. Have already been everywhere, so nothing excites me anymore. Drama teacher called me "jaded."
9. Women are always trying to be nice to me to get my dad to like them. Just....gross.
10. Photographers following you into the bathroom to see if you're doing drugs so they can break the story that I'm a DRUGGIE. Like I would do drugs in the bathroom. So unsanitary.
4/23/06
4/20/06
Top Ten Reasons Why I Will Marry Adam Levine from Maroon 5
I know, their album is so last year, but I totally can't stop listening to it. It's so good! I can't give up my mad crush on Adam.
1. Lucy Levine-- so catchy!
2. I read he plays tennis. I play tennis. It's a match!
3. I am WAY cuter than Jessica Simpson.
4. Guys mature more slowly than girls, so in 15 years we will barely notice the age difference.
5. He is so cute, it KILLS me.
6.
1. Lucy Levine-- so catchy!
2. I read he plays tennis. I play tennis. It's a match!
3. I am WAY cuter than Jessica Simpson.
4. Guys mature more slowly than girls, so in 15 years we will barely notice the age difference.
5. He is so cute, it KILLS me.
6.
4/15/06
Top Ten Death-Defying Stunts Attempted by My Sister F.
There's alot of noise in my house this week-- somehow, my sister F. convinced our dad to build her a half-pipe in our backyard. Frankly, building a skateboard ramp for a ten year old just seems like an invitation to go up to the emergency room even more. So, in honor of this big event, here is this week's Top Ten list.
3/15/06
Top Ten Fashion Week Highlights
My sister S. was a model in El Paseo/ Palm Desert Fashion Week again this year (she's done it every year since she was a freshman), and this year she got passes for F. and I to go. Don't ask me why-- there was nothing in it for her, except maybe scoring extra points with our dad for being nice to me.
Anyway, it was totally fun. Here are some highlights!
1.
Anyway, it was totally fun. Here are some highlights!
1.
3/4/06
Top Ten Crimes to Which S. is Certainly Connected
Bad things always happen when my sister is around. This ranges from petty misdemeanors to actual, like, bad stuff. Really. Does anyone think it's coincidental that S. has been in close proximity to ALL of these things?
1. Big car accident up at Tahquitz Canyon last year. Reckless driving, etc. etc. Who was there cheering them on?
2. Stolen PSAT test. I think you all know what I'm talking about.
3.
1. Big car accident up at Tahquitz Canyon last year. Reckless driving, etc. etc. Who was there cheering them on?
2. Stolen PSAT test. I think you all know what I'm talking about.
3.
2/10/06
To Date, or Not to Date.....
F. and I have a running debate about whether or not to go to the Date Festival this weekend. I think it's kind of retro cool to drink the date shakes, and she thinks it smells like camel.
Can't we both be right? http://www.datefest.org/
Expect a Date Festival-related Top Ten list if I can actually get her to go. Otherwise I may have to do another "Britney Spears is a Fashion Victim" post.
Can't we both be right? http://www.datefest.org/
Expect a Date Festival-related Top Ten list if I can actually get her to go. Otherwise I may have to do another "Britney Spears is a Fashion Victim" post.
1/1/06
Top Ten Reasons Being a Freshman Totally Sucks
Finny and I made this list over Christmas, and decided to turn it into this blog. Enjoy!
1. Freshman lockers are WAY far away from the main building. Do they WANT the freshmen to be late to everything? Hello!
2. Freshman assembly/ orientation. Why? So we can look at each other? We've only grown up together. This way we have no chance of even meeting older people.
3. Even though I'm S.'s little sister, this is doing me no good, since she is pretending I don't exist.
4. Freshmen can't try out for Varsity Tennis. What?! I was only like, the best player at PDMS. What are these rules?
5. Taking the NASTY SCHOOL BUS, when your sister's boyfriend has a car and is perfectly capable of driving you home. See # 3.
6. It actually took a long time to get to the top of the food chain at PDMS, and having to start over? Not good.
7.
1. Freshman lockers are WAY far away from the main building. Do they WANT the freshmen to be late to everything? Hello!
2. Freshman assembly/ orientation. Why? So we can look at each other? We've only grown up together. This way we have no chance of even meeting older people.
3. Even though I'm S.'s little sister, this is doing me no good, since she is pretending I don't exist.
4. Freshmen can't try out for Varsity Tennis. What?! I was only like, the best player at PDMS. What are these rules?
5. Taking the NASTY SCHOOL BUS, when your sister's boyfriend has a car and is perfectly capable of driving you home. See # 3.
6. It actually took a long time to get to the top of the food chain at PDMS, and having to start over? Not good.
7.
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